How cities die

Yesterday, I was over at Jamey's apartment while he held an open house to rent it out...he's moving in with Tamara, his new fiancee. (Gratz, guys!!) They were thrilled to have met several great possible tenants, and were leaning towards giving the place to a family with two small children - a toddler and an 18 month old. The apartment is in Noe Valley - stroller heaven! Seemed like a great match.

While I was in the bedroom dissembling a particularly pesky piece of Ikea furniture (ah, the spoils of other people's cohabitation), I overheard Tamara talking to one of the neighbors in the building. They live in a TIC, so the neighbors are even more "interested" in what you're planning with your unit than when you're renting.

Anyway, Tamara and the neighbor are pleasantly chit chatting about the ups and downs of rental and how hard it can be. I hear Tamara telling her, "We're so excited, we met several great potential tenants, and we're leaning towards this really nice German family with an 18 month old and a toddler."

The woman gets very critical all of a sudden, "Well who else came to see it?" Tamara describes the other folks, some gay couples, some straight couples, some young single friends, etc. Next thing you know the woman is rather bluntly telling Tamara that she sure hopes they don't select the family with kids because "there are enough kids in the building, and it's so difficult when Johnny's friends all come over to play or when Suzy is bouncing that damned ball all the time, up and down."

I listen with incredulity as Tamara and Jamey start equivocating and trying to please the neighbor...oh we're so glad you mentioned it, oh we see your point of view, oh do you think you'd prefer the gay couple or some singles?

I don't blame this woman for not wanting kids living in her building. And I don't blame Jamey and Tamara for not wanting to piss off their TIC partner. But I was pretty enraged, feeling like I'd just listened to another nail being driven into the coffin that San Francisco's becoming.

The median house price here is about $700,000, and we have the lowest percentage of people under 18 of any large city in the nation, 14.5 percent, compared with 25.7 percent nationwide. (2000 census)

If this is a city that only welcomes singles, and DINKs, and gay couples without kids...then as much as I love singles, and DINKs and gay people without kids, then I can't live here anymore. God willing I will have kids in the near future, and unfortunately, I can't afford to buy a house. And since it looks like I'll be at the tender mercies of neighbors who'd rather not hear bouncing balls or Johnny's play dates, then I guess I'll have to move somewhere that is a more welcoming place for the rug rats. Like Phoenix or Portland or Seattle or any of the other cities that are drawing young San Franciscan families away like magnets.

If a family with a baby and toddler can't rent in Noe Valley of all places - at $2700 a month - where can they expect to do so?

This is how cities die. When NIMBY literally means "Not in My Backyard, you irritating kids," then we are truly building a shameful culture.